The Past Six Months


Ever since I was little, I’ve always had a plan. Finish high school, go to college, meet my husband, rule the corporate world, and have perfect children… all within probably a year of graduating college. Let’s just take a second to LOL.

They often say that if you want to hear God laugh, just tell him your plans. They were right.

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” –Proverbs 19:21

I graduated college 6 months ago, almost to the day, and nothing has gone according to my plan. NOTHING.

And. That. Is. Okay.

In the past 6 months, God has broken me in so many different ways, and I’ve never had more peace.

 I’ve cried. I’ve drank. I’ve run away. I’ve prayed. I’ve learned to be still. I’ve found contentment in Christ.

I’ve learned to listen to God’s plans above my own.

I’ve learned that God is still there when it feels like He’s silent, and He’s probably teaching the gift of patience. I’ve learned that the wait is more about experiencing God than enduring the delay.

He’s taken away every empty thing I’ve been trying to find my joy in and filled me with so much more.

I have learned that my happiness is dependent on undependable circumstances, but my JOY is rooted in Christ. He never changes.

When your relationship fails, He is still good. When your career doesn’t go as planned, He is still good. When you have health problems, He is still good. When people you need walk out of your life, He is still good.

In the past 6 months, I have walked through all of these and I can say it is well with my soul.

No relationship, career, social status, or worldly possession will ever fill my heart the way He does.

The world tells us we have to have it all together all the time; Jesus just wants us to let Him use our broken, messed up pieces.

“Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.” –Psalm 62:5-6

I spent the past four years trying to make much of myself and now all I want is to make much of Him. I don’t regret any decisions I’ve made because they all led me to this point. God will never waste your hard circumstances without teaching you something from it. You just have to let Him. I’ve learned that I cannot always control my circumstances but I can ALWAYS control my reaction to those circumstances. I can always find joy.

So, why do I keep getting knocked back down again every time I try to get up?

Because He is God and I am not. He had to remind me of that. Humility is something I’ve learned the hard way. His ways are higher than my ways.

 God had to remind me that we go through storms because our faith needs the rain to help it grow.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” –James 1:2-4

So, what do I do now?

I work on serving Him. In the past 6 months, I’ve done things I’ve never had the courage to do before. I’ve felt more myself than I have in a long time.

I work on being a better servant, daughter, sister, friend, leader; a better me.

One day I’ll meet my husband, maybe start my own non-profit organization and adopt a bunch of kiddos, we’ll see. Until then, I’ll work on building His Kingdom.

I might still not know who I am, but I know whose I am, and that makes all the difference.


25 thoughts on “The Past Six Months

  1. Very humbling wise words from a precious young lady!! GOD always brings us to where we need to be so HE can Bless us!! HE knows your hearts desires and hears your cries!! HE is never failing!! We serve an Awesome GOD!! Dana💖

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I just want the author to know this could not have come into my life at any better time. I’m currently struggling with so many things—but I know it’s leading me to find my contentment in things above. Love this and thank you so much for being vulnerable and humble enough to right this! Love💕

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you. I needed to hear this! In a world where instant gratification is king, I don’t know how to wait. As we enter our seventh month with our home on the market, I’ve been anything but patient. But God is good! And he loves me and wants to hear my cries of desperation. While I wish I was content and patient this whole time, he loves me in spite of that. Thank you for your words of encouragement!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nicole, from your picture, I would venture to say I am quite a bit older than you…the one thing that I have held onto throughout the challenges in my life is this piece of advice shared with me many years ago…”The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God cannot protect you.” What I have found is that God always provides what we need…and every now and then, He will give us what we want. Take care.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for this! I’m at the point in my life where everything is changing and everyone asks what your plans are for the next coming years. And all of that brings a lot of fear and anxiety. I need to be constantly reminded to turn back to Him with all of my burdens and doubts. It’s all going to be just fine!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. How beautiful is this!! Thank you for sharing your heart, Ashton! You have a talent for writing and what a better message to convey than this 🙂 God bless you, sister! ❤


  6. Thank you for sharing this! I feel like you and I have been sharing the same rough time. Although I haven’t been focusing on God as much as I should be, your post has been a good reminder to put Him in the center of my life.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow. This is so so good. Thank you for sharing your heart with people you have never met. Be encouraged because I know the Lord is going to do amazing things with and in your life and testimony. Be blessed. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The best thing about this is all the POSITIVE responses you got from it. It is so refreshing to see so much support between people in such a negative and judgmental world. Thank you SO much for this.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This was something I needed to read! I have been experiencing so many similar instances in my life. I moved to Arizona 6 months ago and have been rebuilding my relationship with Him. Since then I have faced many of the experiences you mentioned and have found a happier version and outlook of myself by keeping my faith. I’ve also learned an incredible amount about myself these past 6 months than I ever thought I would and He has been and huge part of it! I thought moving was going to make all the difference in my life. It has and it hasnt. Ive realized where I belong but at the same time without this life experience I wouldn’t have my relationship with God as I do now. Thanks for the great read, makes me feel like I’m not the only one who has had these thing’s happen!

    ✌Peace & Love💜

    Liked by 1 person

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